The human brain is a fascinating instrument. It holds and processes an incredible amount of information every millisecond. The brain allows us to recall, calculate, anticipate, and analyze. These cognitive abilities make us an intelligent species. The problem is, the brain continues to run even when we do not have cognitive intention. This results in wandering of the mind. Although it is hard to precisely quantify, it is estimated that we spend one-third to half of our wakeful hours in wandering thoughts.
By most definitions, wandering thoughts occur when there is incomplete attention. These thoughts come and go and we usually do not recall or make a mental note to follow up on them.
In meditation, we are taught to expect wandering thoughts. We are to allow them to come and go without judgment. Thoughts are visitors. They are not here to stay.
But what happens when the wandering thoughts are negative and seemingly impossible to let go? How about that one mistake you made in the past that resulted in someone getting hurt? Are you reminded of the insecurities you have with your appearance and status? Or that one time when someone wronged you and you did not get the apology you felt you deserved?
I have experienced all of the above examples and more in and outside of meditation. I struggled for a long time with these thoughts. I tried suppressing them, ignoring them, and negating them with positive thoughts. Nothing really worked.
Then I tried something different. I acknowledged and honored the negative thoughts. I imagined them as people. Sometimes I gave them names and persona. Then I added kindness.
Allow me to show you an example.
I felt a lot of guilt and shame due to an error that occurred a few years back. The guilt and shame bubbled up often during meditation. I kept reminding myself these thoughts are ephemeral. But the harder I tried ignoring them, the more I ruminated.
Then I realized the guilt and shame needed to be addressed. I gave my guilt and shame a name and personality. Kyle was a boy — a sad and insecure one. When Kyle showed up in my wandering thoughts, I would speak to him with lovingkindness and compassion.
“Hello, Kyle. I see you. I am sorry you are in pain. I want you to know what you feel is not forever. You will get through.”
The amazing thing was the more kindness I showed Kyle, the more likely he would leave. The negative thoughts he took with him were often replaced by a small but palpable joy.
So the next time negative thoughts start invading your mind, imagine them as vulnerable beings deserving of kindness and compassion. Transform the negativity with kindness and allow it to pass.
Metta and much care to you all.